| Mind Over Fatter - Escaping the Dieting Cycle |
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| Cari Corbet-Owen | |||
| Monday, 06 November 2006 | |||
Been there, done it, got the t-shirt! I don't quite tip 150 cm, but when I finally had a funeral pyre to burn my scales and diet books, had I piled then one upon another, the pile would have been taller than me. That's a rather frightening thought! My attempts at dieting were legendary. I only had to see the magical word(s) 'diet' or 'lose weight' for any magazine to land in my shopping trolley. Then there were all those diets on photocopied sheets that were forever doing the rounds, plenty that I tried more than once. And this didn't even take into account the ones I made up myself. My most notorious attempt was eating only diet cold-drink and gelatine for about 6 months at boarding school until I was anorexic. I remember that at our year-end function, we each had a name tag with a saying to describe us. Mine read, "now you see me, now you don't!" After that, I once more became a regular yo-yo'er and a permanent member of the stuff and starve brigade. Starving myself in public and stuffing myself in private. Forever hating and berating my body but also being a total couch potato. Then I met a fitness fanatic who was unbeknown to me about to become my husband. This man was definitely crazy, I decided. However, he managed to infect me with his bug was and so exercising became my latest mania. I gymed in the morning, cycled and ran in the evenings and ate teddy tots by the carton full. By my wedding I was a slim trim 42kg. But that didn't last long and soon I was back to the inevitable weight gain and body bashing (body hatred) that always accompanied it. Eventually I found a 'slimming' club where I lost 29 kilograms and even lectured for them for 2 years. But all too soon, all 29 kilograms plus interest, came piling back on again. That was hardly surprising given that I was using my car as my private binge bar; often even being late for an appointment because of not being able to leave even one morsel of my latest food stash, uneaten. Naturally, I also went through my phase of being addicted to pills, powders, potions and laxatives. I was obsessive about weighing myself, sometimes up to four times a day. That was a sure way to ruin my day. My life had got to a place where it was ruled by thoughts about food, eating and my hated body. My Light-Bulb Moment In 1990 my husband and I were doing a round the world trip. We were in Hawaii and having overeaten once again the night before, I was sending my body out for its daily punishment: a wobble around the block, when I saw a large gathering of people. Not needing any encouragement to give up my jog, I headed over. It was an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and before I knew it, I found myself saying, "Hi my name is Cari and I'm a diet- and food-aholic". It was a light-bulb moment. For the first time, it really struck me that there was something serious wrong with the way I was running my body. I started asking myself questions like: "Why is it that world-wide, there are millions and millions of people trying one diet after another? If diets are all they are cut out to be then how come we have to keep going on them? How come I have got progressively fatter over the years despite all my attempts at getting thinner?" At this same time I came into contact with books written by Geneen Roth, Bob Schwartz and Covert Bailey. They gave me some answers: Diets don't work, at least not if you want to get thinner. The only thing they help you lose is self-confidence. So I vowed never to diet again… ever. Then I got a bit nervous and added a rider: I could always diet again if this didn't work. Well that was like open sesame. All I did for 2 weeks was eat 31 flavours of Baskin Robbins ice-cream. It was scary, I was convinced I was busy digging my grave with my teeth. But to my amazement, my body soon started demanding healthy foods and I was delighted and a bit shocked to find that I genuinely did enjoy healthy choices. I discovered that when I started listening to my body, and eating according to its needs, food started taking a place that was secondary to living. When I gave up dieting, the weight started to come off on its own. However, food had been my comforter, my tranquilizer and my companion for far too long and so whenever I felt sad, bad or mad, I'd head back to the fridge. There were even times when I did succumb to the latest revolutionary diet, but all this did was to confirm what I knew in my heart - it was a miserable way to live and it didn't work. Time to reprogram my mind & body Then in the 1990's, I had a number of miscarriages and finally lost our twin sons. Weeks passed in a blur, buried in a blur of food. But eventually I emerged on the other side. I started asking questions of my religion which had no answers that made sense to me. I also emerged on the other side with a knowledge that I wanted to study further. So at the age of 32, I went to university to study life and psychology. Eating was always the field I was passionate about, so it featured in many class assignments. It was during my studies that I coaxed ten friends to doing my very first Mind over Fatter course in 1994. But it was only when I started doing research that I realized what I by now knew without reservation: crash weight loss = crash gain. Dieting to lose weight is like a tiger trying to catch its tail – simply not possible. The more I read, the more I became appalled at the mis-information we are fed about weight loss. I didn't have to look far to find research going back to the 1950's that casts dieting in a questionable light. However, this is a multi-billion-dollar industry world-wide, and it is supported by billions of naïve ex-Cari-like-dieters, the powerful fashion, beauty and medical industries. With less time taken up by thoughts of food, dieting and an obsession with my appearance and all its flaws, I had more time to do some spiritual searching prompted by the loss of the twins. When I started nurturing my soul and not my size, food became secondary to living. And when my obsessions with food, eating and appearance left me, I had more time and energy to invest in my spiritual growth and being excited about living. Now my body fluctuates mildly. However, I just never get panic-stricken or ever entertain the idea of dieting. I also know that my body is just there to house my soul. It has a sell-by-date and so my investment in its appearance is less than the time and energy I invest in my soul which has no sell-by-date. Instead of striving to be and look the same as everyone, I have come to honour and revere my uniqueness and this has freed me from having to look any particular way in order to be loved. I have not the faintest idea what I weigh and neither do I have any interest in knowing. However, I can tell you I weigh nowhere near the 42 kg of my wedding and neither do I want to. All I know is that I feel comfortable in my body and that it is healthy. I believe it is part of my soul's mission to work with others who, like myself, have tried every diet in the book, and are sick and tired of unnatural diet products and dieting. I encourage my clients and workshop participants to challenge anything in the 'Mind over Fatter' program that does not make sense. "If it doesn't make sense to you and your body, don't do it," is the advice I would give to you. Mind over Fatter was conceived in 1994, it has had a nine year pregnancy and now I know it's time to birth it for the many others who are trapped in the mental jail of eating, body and food concerns. And let me tell you, if the labour pains of getting the final product onto the shelves is anything to go for, I'm going for a caesarean next time I give book-birth!
Disclaimer: Harmonious Living is written for and read by a community of individuals with strong and independent opinions. While the publishers of Harmonious Living are dedicated to providing a forum in which views can be openly expressed, those views do not necessarily reflect those of the publishers.
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