| Busting the Baby Blues |
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| Penny Castle | |||
| Wednesday, 08 October 2008 | |||
  “We held hands and looked at our six-week-old son, I should have been ecstatic. I was miserable. Bone crushingly, can’t get out of bed, miserable. I felt guilty and alone.” Many new parents, and especially Moms, find themselves in this situation. It’s isolating and frightening. The question they ask is, “Is there something we can do to make it easier?” Honestly? There isn’t a quick fix but there are a heap of things you can do that will help you through the day and looking forward to the next one. Get some rest Sleep deprivation is used for torture, so unless you’re a secret agent, it will be hard. Really hard. Popular wisdom advises parents to sleep when the baby sleeps. Anyone who has more than one child will know that this might be possible on the second or third but not with the first… as soon as he stops screaming and falls asleep, you’ll be there with a mirror under his nose, checking your little darling is still alive. Try napping where you can’t hear the baby. The rush of adrenalin when a new mom hears her baby cry is hard to conquer. As long as you know your baby is cared for, take a few moments and find a spot where you can’t hear. Desperate times call for desperate measures: nip off to the car and catch a few Zs. Its not The Ritz but you won’t care. Eat well Grab something nutritious to eat. Making a list of healthy but quick and convenient foods you can stock in the fridge and eat when you get a moment is useful. If there is one time in your life when pre-prepared veggies are OK – then this is it. Drink lots of water. Move Light exercise is a great therapy for mild depression. It doesn’t have to be a full Olympic workout. It might be taking Prince Charming for a wander to the corner shop or speed shopping or even vacuuming the house. It doesn’t matter as long as it involves moving. Self Nurture This can be anything from a soak in the bath to a few minutes with a good book. This will probably be the hardest advice to take, but it will allow you to remember, even for five minutes, that there is a part of you that is not a baby slave. Call in the Troops Write down all the people (paid and unpaid) who you trust and who could help you. Make a note of their contact details and the skill they offer. For example: Who is the person who could take your infant for a 15-minute drive whilst you grab a shower? Before crisis point, talk to your network of support and confirm that they are willing and able to help. If you’re already worrying that they’ll say no, try anyway. You’ll be touched by how many people will be honoured by your trust. Try keeping this list with you. Just knowing that support is available is guaranteed to make you feel more capable. Banish the Critics Heave off toxic relationships, especially the ones who tell you, “this is for your own good”. Even if the relationship in question is your partner’s favourite step-aunt, the rule is “if they make you feel bad, cut them, and yourself, free.” Forget about the Milestones My husband took his first step at 18 months – and he is really quite good at it now. If there is a problem with your child, you will pick it up at one of the gazillion checkups your children will have over their lifetime. Ignore the Purists Frequently you’ll find yourself talking to a seemingly pleasant person when they will get a glint in their eye and suddenly start discussing the productivity of your breasts. Parenting seems to attract many experts, with opinions on everything from breast feeding to sleeping habits. Frequently these experts don’t actually have children, but this doesn’t stop them generously dispensing advice. Excuse yourself, fast! If you can’t get away, this is good time to practise breathing exercises. Check it isn’t Chemical For many people a newborn is hard work. For a significant minority it’s more than hard. If you aren’t coping, its OK to admit it and get help. Allopathic and homoeopathic medicines have arsenals of options to help with postpartum depression. Parenthood isn’t the Comrades, there are no medals for pushing through the pain. It will Pass This is a promise. There will be a time when you only remember the great things. You’ll smile sympathetically at new parents and try to remember what all the fuss was about.
Disclaimer: Harmonious Living is written for and read by a community of individuals with strong and independent opinions. While the publishers of Harmonious Living are dedicated to providing a forum in which views can be openly expressed, those views do not necessarily reflect those of the publishers.
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